“Women are taught from early childhood that their worth is proportional to their attractiveness. We feel compelled to pursue abstract notions of beauty, half realizing that such a pursuit is futile. When women reject this form of oppression, they face ridicule and contempt. Whether it’s women who refuse to wear makeup or to shave their legs, or to expose their bodies, society, both men and women, have trouble dealing with them.”—Naheed Mustafa
Well where does that leave people who’s first experience of a penis inside their vagina was rape?
Are they no longer virgins?
When ‘virginity’ was first thought of they weren’t.
This is the 21st century; we no longer equate rape with sex!
Alright then, so sex= consensual penis in vagina action.
But wait, what about those queer people who may never have penis in vagina action but may have lots and lots of other kinds of sexual activity; are they all virgins too, have they never had sex?
And where does that leave the trans people who may have piv sex, but it may be two women, two men or any variation of nonbinaries doing it- is virginity being lost here or not? Even though it’s queer sex it does involve a penis and a vagina; do they get to be virgins still?
Well, queer people are people and our sex is still sex, folks. This is the 21st century; we’ll have no heterosexism or cissexism here!
Well now the lines are truly blurred. If a bisexual man has piv sex is he only half a virgin? After all he’s only rubbed one set of genitalia up against another set; what about the ‘opposite’ set? Does he have to do that too in order to lose his virginity?
This is the 21st century. Virginity as a concept loses all meaning in discussions that aren’t rife with sexism, heterosexism and cissexism.
It’s broken and it’s dangerous. Lets bin it, shall we?
“The undetected rapists overwhelmingly use minimal or no force, rely mostly on alcohol and rape their acquaintances. They create situations where the culture will protect them by making excuses for them and questioning or denying their victims. Incarcerated rapists, I think, are just the ones who use the tactics that society is more willing to recognize as rape and less willing to make excuses for.”—
“We value our lives and existence so greatly, but at the same time we know we will eventually die, and ultimately our endeavors are meaningless. While we can live with a dualism (I can accept periods of unhappiness, because I know I will also experience happiness to come), we cannot live with the paradox (I think my life is of great importance, but I also think it is meaningless).”—
“You know what this mess tells me? That if you report a rape, you have to be perfect. You can’t make foolish choices. You can’t talk to a drug felon on the phone, (especially if they’re one of a disproportionate number of people of color incarcerated for drug crimes.) You can’t be too poor to hire investigators to do their own digging. You can’t live in housing associated with HIV. You can’t be an immigrant. You can’t be a woman. You can’t be a woman of color. Unless you’re the right kind of witness, you just can’t afford to tell the police or anyone else that a man with power, money, global connections and sense of entitlement raped you. Because you’re below his, the prosecution’s and The New York Times’s pay grade.”—DSK Rape Case Takeaway Number Five: You Have to Be the Perfect Victim | Akiba Solomon | COLORLINES